How to quit your job?

It’s been four years…

Yes, literally four years.

I slowly sit down as the sudden realization of the time spent in the Firm indifferently crawls up my back and chest, wrapping its dead-cold slippery fingers around my neck as a tightening gibbet that is here to pronounce me and Death husband and wife. My mind starts racing, going through all the chances, all the dreams, all the ideas, all the moments, that were never taken, never dreamed, never realized, never lived. As it gradually picks up the pace of introducing definite destruction into my precious perspective of the world I live in, I begin to panic. It’s not the usual frightening panic that casually starts micro-earthquakes deep within the very fabric of my being, which I find odd. It’s more like the settling eye-opening panic, that nurtures your brain and guides its thought processes helping you finally realize that it’s time! It’s time to live! It’s time to live now!

At first this seemingly simple awakening is thrilling in an exciting scary way, but within the same 3-second time frame it took me to realize all this, I have already acknowledged far too many reasons why it can never happen. The mind starts to tremble from the tension all its computing power is building up while striving to find much more support for giving up than humanly possible. All the regular reasons are here. I’ve put in too much time and effort in this venture. I have spent countless sleepless nights to prove my capabilities, to build my career and earn my colleagues’ respect. I have become really good at my job. I am a high-performer. I constantly exceed the expectations of my managers and their managers and their managers. I like spending time at the office. I like my colleagues. I like my job. I love my job. I have a crush on a colleague. I am so happy right where I am. I’m loving all this!

And at this moment of sweet vanity your brain activity flatlines. There’s no more horror and there’s no more stress and there’s no more craving for escape. You no longer want to leave as you don’t relate to anything with the slightest resemblance of what wanting to live felt like. This has happened to me so many times before. So many times have I started to doubt the benefit of my life path, that it’s painfully convenient to forget… one more time. Like it always happens. Because I love my job. Because I’m loving all this!

But as this same repetitive line gently tiptoes through my mind reminding me of a freakishly silent Sylvester trying to indulge on Tweety’s feathered flesh, something odd flashes for the tiniest fraction of a second. Something odd. Something out-of-place. Something that’s usually not there. Something that is still holding on to the otherwise faded alternative perception of what my life can be. Something that screams at the top of its non-existent imaginary lungs. A terrifying scream that thrusts me awake in such a rough way that I forget the meaning of the word ‘gentle’. A scream that seems to magically jump-start my up till now deteriorating brain activity. A subtle reminder – ‘your crush loves someone else’.

My crush also has a crush. Not me. That’s who.

Simple. So simple it lowers my self-esteem and makes me feel as stupid as a still-wet-painted park bench.

This time there’s no emotion, there’s nothing memorable or special, no fanfares accompany my realization. It’s boring simple and obvious. It’s time for the next chapter, it’s time for a new chapter. It’s time to follow my dreams and admit that this amazing experience I’ve had in the Firm is over. I had a great run, I met some great people, I made some close friends. But it’s time to be what I set out to be in the first place, all the way back when I was just a boy with a crazy big dream and no idea where to start. But that boy gets it now. Everything in life, good or bad, has to eventually come to an end. And prolonging the inevitable only deprives sacred life-changing moments of their genuinety and purity.

Once you get that it’s pretty easy to quit your job.

Step One. Get the one-month notice form.

Step Two. Fill the one-month notice form.

Step Three. Submit the one-month notice form in HR.

Step Four. Wait for one month.

Step Five. Leave and Live.

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